Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
