im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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