dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
