I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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