Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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