I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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