I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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