flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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