what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
