I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
