this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
