But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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