1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
