Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
