We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize