I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize