playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
