So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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