i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
