Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
