You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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