His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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