We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
