Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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