Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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