I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
