I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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