I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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