Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So much Jack, so little girl.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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