bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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