Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
