If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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