Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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