thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
