Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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