if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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