I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Life is so much better after having sex.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
