its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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