So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
