Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
