I want to make a zoo with you.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
