I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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