You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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