i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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