when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
