and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
