apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
