exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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