i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
