A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
