Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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