just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Panties = found
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
