The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
