I want to stick my p in your. b.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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