I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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