I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
