Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
