you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
