i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
