Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
