Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
