We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
