Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
