Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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