he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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