i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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