Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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