bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
