It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
