And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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