people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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