i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
