maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When did angry sex become our thing?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
