Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
