I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize